My toddler is more prolific than yours.

Reader discretion advised. This post acknowledges the existence of POOP. You have been warned.

One of the hobbies of new parents is comparing their child to other children. They obsess over how precocious their child is and take secret, gleeful pleasure when Johnny or Suzy does something sooner than other kids: learning to read, write, tie shoes, do calculus, etc.
More than a week before his second birthday, Ian settled all debate. My kid is more prolific than yours. Period. Have fun with the consolation prizes, like first to read, first to write, first to take a derivative.
Here is the story. We have been following the advice of child development books and emptying Ian's dirty diapers into the toilet, allowing him to flush. Evidently, some children develop strong hang-ups during potty training because they are sad or scared to see what they perceive as a part of themselves get flushed away. Thus, we have taken to emptying the dirty diaper (i.e. tilting the turd, depositing the deuce) into the bowl. Ian now takes great relish in flushing.
Let me be clear: we do not put the diaper in. That would be bad for the septic system. We just dump out the contents.
You probably know where this is going. If you are a parent, you are probably already feeling sad about your child's inadequacy. But, as I said early, there is still the race for reading, writing, and quantum mechanics.
Anyway, my not-quite-two-year-old clogged the bowl. On his own. One diaper-full. And this is not a wimpy toilet. Consumer Reports waxed poetic about the power of its flush. And my son conquered it.
And that is why my toddler is more prolific than yours.

-Dad