Fearfulness

In the last month or so, Ian has developed a lot of fears that he never had before.  Most commonly he’s afraid of:

- the dark

- dragons

- giants

- creatures or animals or people he thinks will eat us

Today we had planned to see the a Muppets movie with Madeline, but Ian was terrified to even enter the theater (due to dark, Animal eating the screen, and Fozzie Bear (the “big monster”)).  We had to leave about 2 minutes in, and stop on the walk home several times for hugs and discussion. 

His fearfulness has also caused problems with bedtime, which had been going quite smoothly over the summer (at least when Daddy put him to bed).  He’s definitely afraid to be in the dark, and even with the lights on he’s afraid of dragons and giants and doesn’t want to be alone.  So we gave in and have been letting him sleep with Mommy:

Some googling confirms that this fearful stage is a normal part of development, and tends to happen at this age as they become aware of death and danger in a new way.  It’s common for kids this age to attach their generalized fear to non-sensical things (like dragons and giants).  Therefore, reasoning with them does not help (i.e. “Dragons are not real”) because they’ll find something even more non-sensical to be afraid of.  In fact one study I found has linked the lack of fearfulness at this age to greater incidence of psychopathy in adulthood (presumably because fear helps develop a sense of shame, morality, consequences, etc.).  So it’s a bit hard to deal with at the moment but we’re glad he’s to see he’s developing well.