A Collection of Ianisms

We’ve let a lot of Ianisms accumulate these last several months.  I’ll try to collect them here from facebook, text messages, and our memories.  They cover quite a period of time so surely we’re missing a lot.

• Ian on inventors camp at the museum last week: “I’m trying to invent a gun that doesn’t hurt people.”
• Ian, while looking at the back of the Axe body wash bottle, which shows an outline of a man and a woman: “If she was showing her nani (breasts) and bum that would be excellent.”  Sigh.
• Ian, angry at me: “Fine!  I’m never going to make you anything purple again!”  “Do you want me to draw something for you?” me: “yes” Ian: “Well it’s not going to have any purple and I’m going to do a scribble and make it horrible!”
• Ian, upon finding that Lilo had chewed up the packages that arrived yesterday: “Mommy, Lilo’s talent is chewing!”
• Ian on why we were walking instead of driving to the FunZone: "because it's supposed to be fun and parking is no fun!"
• Ian, affectionately, regarding his brother: “Mommy, I will never kill Lukas.  I will never shoot him with a weapon. . . . . I don’t have a weapon.”
• Ian, after I explained to him that he should never chase a ball into the road because we will get him a new ball but we can’t get a new Ian: “Well, you could have another baby.” me: “But that wouldn’t be the same as having my Ian!”  Ian: “Well, you could name the baby Ian.”  Truly, the boy will argue with anything, even against his own self-preservation.
• “I cannot do it now because I can not drive, but maybe when I am five I will drive to the beach with Lukas all by myself.”
• Ian, after behaving badly for an entire evening at the end of a week when Doug had been working at the military base, suddenly switching from outright defiance to bursting into tears, “But I just miss swordfighting so much!!”  I concluded that he missed Daddy more than I realized and perhaps that accounted for some of his _absolutely_  _maddening_ behavior.
• Ian, 5am, my room: "I can't fall back to sleep." me: "Ok, you can snuggle up in my bed until morning. I'm going to the bathroom and I'll be right back". Me, upon returning, and finding Ian taking up the entire bed, "Scoot over Ian.". Ian: "But I was here first!"
• Ian decided that he does not want to hit the baseball off the tee, but instead wanted me to pitch it to him. I explained that I am not a very good pitcher and he needs lots of practice with the tee before he will be able to hit pitches. After trying several and getting a piece of many of them, he declared: "See, my idea was better."
• And an old one: "Mommy, the baby is getting too big for your belly. When snakes get too big for their skin they peel it off and get a bigger one."